wow, only 5 more days left of my original induction. i will be doing extended induction so maybe one week at a time until i reach my goal or maybe if i get tired of what im eating. I will stay on this way of eating. i need to drink more water and work out today. right now i feel sleepy but im going to make myself another cup of coffee and get my gym clothes on and go work out alone! i dont really like working out with other people. then i feel like i have to cater to them. i cant help it. dustin went on his little adventure with the boys. and today i want to work out and have fun at the gym. its sunday i know it closes early but i really want to run. i didnt yesterday but oh well. so i have posted stuff on my atkins bb and this lady said that she got so emotional over it she cried! wow!! i am an inspiration to her. and you know what that makes me want this more!!!
i will be thin i got to 196 yesterday. today it is tom and i am bloated and cramped. im going to take 196 rather than 198 like today said because i am burning ketone's like a mo fo!!
and i know i have not cheated. so why?eww water weight!! it will happen fast and healthy too!!! im going to be so proud of myself at the end of the month!!! i think im going to run then head over to a star bucks to blog and drink a coffee. boy i love coffee!! lol
so im at my aunt and uncles right now and were watching a movie. i have been very moved by this lady i found on my atkins posts. i like her enough to be friends in real life ha ha ha.
i weighed in right before i got out of the gym today and i was at 196.3 so obviously i would thinner tomorrow YAY!!! i need to make sure i drink lots of water today. i've already had over 114 oz of water today. THATS ALMOST ONE GALLON!!!! OH MY GOD!!!
i thought i'd never drink that much water. so i ran 2 1/2 miles today!! ttyl
heaviest
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
revelation
good god! I love this way of eating so much! i feel so in touch with who i am as a human being. is that weird to have that feeling on this??? today as i was driving back home from my aunts house and i was fortunate to have this thing i like to call a perfect moment. ha ha ha the sun was so beautiful is was like gold. not like ordinary gold though, like pure unadulterated, free, beautiful, pure pure pure pure gold. sunshine!!!! i loved it!!!! like some kind of extraordinary super energy was following me making sure i knew what life was all about. like this was my ride home and that i could make it however i wanted it to be. I can own this. I can make this mine; and it was. I loved it i had my shades on, my music pumping which was pumping me!
and i had been thinking how would i really feel if everything in my life was perfect and at that moment everything was. i was perfect at that moment and it was only because of me. no one made me feel as beautiful as myself. my boyfriend does not, my family does not, but thats ok. they dont know the super power we have on our own. I was beginning to think, "if people with no legs can run marathons, what the hell is my problem" as if i didnt do enough in my life. Although i felt that way, my aunt helped me realize i've been having to heal myself all these years and i am still not done doing so. Losing weight is the last form of healing. I have come a LONG way for only being 24 years old. and i am proud of that, i am proud of who i am and what i stick up for and who i stand for. i am proud that i can sit in front of someone while they eat and only think nothing of it.
no name calling, no judgment, no fear, no compromise and NO GUILT. NO WANT. NO CRAVINGS.
I find that to be beautiful as well.
I find that we hold beauty so great we fear it.
I love life, there fore i should never fear it.
wow, how freaking awesome is this!!
I think it is important that i write the reasons why i want to lose weight so that i feel more motivated to continue (not that im not it just helps more so)
i want to lose weight because i want to wear a size 8.
i want to lose weight so i can run faster, longer, harder, and better!
i want to lose weight so that i can feel sexier, notice i said feel sexier rather than saying i want to be sexy. ;)
i want to lose weight so that my confidence shines through me and shows everyone how strong of a woman i am.
i want to lose weight because i want to know first hand what it feels like to be thin.
i want to lose weight because i want to be a great example to my children.
i want to lose weight not to make others feel bad about themselves
i want to lose weight not to make others have pity on my life's story but so they can learn no matter how hard that woman had to work and no matter what she had to work through she worked through it!!
i will lose weight so i can feel these things. i will never again be unhealthy i will never again wear a size anything bigger than what my goal is to achieve. i will always hold myself accountable for my actions and one of them is the way i almost cheated myself on life.
its crazy; when they say forgive yourself first and the rest will follow they are right! I needed to forgive myself for treating myself so poorly. i put myself down, i embarrassed myself , i punished myself i hated myself.
now i forgive myself. i forgive myself for all the wrong i have done onto myself. Sarah B. has been forgiven.
what a weight off my soul. and now i see that through forgiving myself i can love myself and now i can move on. i dont forgive some people but thats ok. its who i am and some day i will forgive them.
but for now i had to work on forgiving the most important person.
and i had been thinking how would i really feel if everything in my life was perfect and at that moment everything was. i was perfect at that moment and it was only because of me. no one made me feel as beautiful as myself. my boyfriend does not, my family does not, but thats ok. they dont know the super power we have on our own. I was beginning to think, "if people with no legs can run marathons, what the hell is my problem" as if i didnt do enough in my life. Although i felt that way, my aunt helped me realize i've been having to heal myself all these years and i am still not done doing so. Losing weight is the last form of healing. I have come a LONG way for only being 24 years old. and i am proud of that, i am proud of who i am and what i stick up for and who i stand for. i am proud that i can sit in front of someone while they eat and only think nothing of it.
no name calling, no judgment, no fear, no compromise and NO GUILT. NO WANT. NO CRAVINGS.
I find that to be beautiful as well.
I find that we hold beauty so great we fear it.
I love life, there fore i should never fear it.
wow, how freaking awesome is this!!
I think it is important that i write the reasons why i want to lose weight so that i feel more motivated to continue (not that im not it just helps more so)
i want to lose weight because i want to wear a size 8.
i want to lose weight so i can run faster, longer, harder, and better!
i want to lose weight so that i can feel sexier, notice i said feel sexier rather than saying i want to be sexy. ;)
i want to lose weight so that my confidence shines through me and shows everyone how strong of a woman i am.
i want to lose weight because i want to know first hand what it feels like to be thin.
i want to lose weight because i want to be a great example to my children.
i want to lose weight not to make others feel bad about themselves
i want to lose weight not to make others have pity on my life's story but so they can learn no matter how hard that woman had to work and no matter what she had to work through she worked through it!!
i will lose weight so i can feel these things. i will never again be unhealthy i will never again wear a size anything bigger than what my goal is to achieve. i will always hold myself accountable for my actions and one of them is the way i almost cheated myself on life.
its crazy; when they say forgive yourself first and the rest will follow they are right! I needed to forgive myself for treating myself so poorly. i put myself down, i embarrassed myself , i punished myself i hated myself.
now i forgive myself. i forgive myself for all the wrong i have done onto myself. Sarah B. has been forgiven.
what a weight off my soul. and now i see that through forgiving myself i can love myself and now i can move on. i dont forgive some people but thats ok. its who i am and some day i will forgive them.
but for now i had to work on forgiving the most important person.
day eight of induction
spending the night at my aunts was good. especially this morning. i brought over some food and my aunt was really nice enough to support me in this. however i didnt want her to feel like she had to go out of her way just for me. she was so kind to support me through it.
i ate eggs this morning and guacamole. perhaps 2 and then 1 more for guac and 1 more for creamer in coffee splenda of course. so maybe 4 all together.
and then im not really hungry right now. and its almost one. yay!! running yesterday was fun. got through a whole hell of a lot. lot of emotion yesterday. got through some embarrassing things, got through my own heart ache of disappointment. facing the facts on weight loss. and facing the facts that i did what i did to myself its all over now. shit its all over!! i was thinking about this is a life choice. I am done being fat again done. i guess i was sad because i was gaining weight . i really hope when i get on the scale tomorrow i am 197. if i see one 197 oh my god!!!! 197 if i was 196!!! shit that would be so amazing. i got my b vitamins yesterday so i started taking them they taste gross. ha ha ha.
still in ketosis i have small amounts of ketones leaving my body through urine.
i know i shouldnt monitor them but i like to.
i need to go to costco and buy a few things, boca burgers, salmon patties, or salmon, broccoli, spinach, lettuce and olive oil and more eggs and cheese
thats all :) pretty simple. < 3 this diet!!!
i ate eggs this morning and guacamole. perhaps 2 and then 1 more for guac and 1 more for creamer in coffee splenda of course. so maybe 4 all together.
and then im not really hungry right now. and its almost one. yay!! running yesterday was fun. got through a whole hell of a lot. lot of emotion yesterday. got through some embarrassing things, got through my own heart ache of disappointment. facing the facts on weight loss. and facing the facts that i did what i did to myself its all over now. shit its all over!! i was thinking about this is a life choice. I am done being fat again done. i guess i was sad because i was gaining weight . i really hope when i get on the scale tomorrow i am 197. if i see one 197 oh my god!!!! 197 if i was 196!!! shit that would be so amazing. i got my b vitamins yesterday so i started taking them they taste gross. ha ha ha.
still in ketosis i have small amounts of ketones leaving my body through urine.
i know i shouldnt monitor them but i like to.
i need to go to costco and buy a few things, boca burgers, salmon patties, or salmon, broccoli, spinach, lettuce and olive oil and more eggs and cheese
thats all :) pretty simple. < 3 this diet!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
just a note
today i went for a run with my boyfriend and i had a break down. We were running and it always seemed like to me that we were competing. i hate that. today he ran past me and i felt like he was being selfish because i thought he was thinking that he was getting anything out of it.
no. this was for me and how dare he take this from me and make it his.
running running , running, running, huffing and passed him, i was upset with him for running up the hill before me!! thats my fucking hill!!
i was walking to catch my breath. then it hit me. 1) really, am i going to let this little hill defeat me? 2) am i really mad at him? 3) if im questioning myself then it must be no 4) if not, who?
then it hit me. I am mad at myself. I am mad at myself for letting my self get to the point where I cant run past him
It is no one but my own fault for not being able to be fit enough to do this.
The reason why im huffing and puffing so much is because of me. The people who have wronged me didn't shove that burger down my throat, or eat those extra large fries, or eat an entire bag of pop corn or made me go to two different places for fast food.
I was in denial until now. I get it now i really do. the reason why he passed me was not because he is better than me, it was because i didnt give my self the care enough to lose weight.
i didnt give myself the care enough to eat healthy. i wanted to eat shit because i felt like i was shit.
i felt like shit.
I cried today because i realized this. i realized that i can do this. i can do anything i need and want to.
i talked to my aunt today about everything. i even told her i was raped. that was really hard for me. for me to tell any family member other than cassy was a very big step for me.
i talked to her about everything and it was good. and she talked to me too. we are so much alike
today dustin and i kind of had a tiff. no big deal. at the time i wanted to give up on him
we were talking and he kept interupting me telling me he knew what i was saying. but i felt like he didnt since he wasnt listening.
i was saying that i was getting mad at him for taking off past me but really im mad at myself.
he's like i dont want you to be sad or mad please dont
i said its not because i am feeling sad or mad im taking credit for my actions
its myfault i couldnt do it no one elses.
he kept interrupting me . and i kept saying its not what you think, he says no i get it your mad for being heavy. your mad because you cant run we can run it again this time you can do it. i cried again and said your not listening listen to me!
then he took off . so i crossed the park and he ran! i was on the bench and he was running. he ran to me on the bench and sat down. we sat together and i talked to him calmly. im sorry we fought. im sorry. i wanted to tell you im not mad at anything. i am taking acredability to what i had done wrong.
i wronged myself.( i ate and ate until i got too big to do something i love. running.)
And he said i have never met anyone who took credit for their actions like you. never.
we talked it out and everything is ok now.
much better.
earlier i was so pist at him. he was being snippy and passive. i could not understand. i wanted to run on a tredmill at the gym. why? he asks.
i want to know why we cant do anything without him asking why? why not? oh because its cheap and i can do it anywhere. well guess what. i dont want to look like a failure when i hit the road and keep stoping i know that if im on a tredmill i can run as long as i want to.
its hard to run outside. i hate feeling like i cant do it. but now its ok. its ok to start out slow outside.
yeah running out side is free but i prefer to run on a mill, fine do what you want to i dont care go to the gym.
so i knew if i say hey lets run outside he'd be ok with it. i hate it though. he doesnt get that either. so i knew maybe if we exercised together we'd feel better. it did , but i felt kind of a douche and i felt like he was one too. so i bit my tongue for him and asked him to run outside with me.
he also doesnt get that i hate a certain exercise at the gym but i try it everytime, if i dont like it i wont do it.
hello! just because you dont like it doesnt mean its not good for you.
he was interupting me all the time at the park and saying that if he has something on his mind he'll say it when ever he wants to. and i said thats not fair. its inconsiderate.!!
he made it clear that it was because he wasnt sure if im ever done. i told him to just fucking ask ha ha h a any way. im off to bed. <3
no. this was for me and how dare he take this from me and make it his.
running running , running, running, huffing and passed him, i was upset with him for running up the hill before me!! thats my fucking hill!!
i was walking to catch my breath. then it hit me. 1) really, am i going to let this little hill defeat me? 2) am i really mad at him? 3) if im questioning myself then it must be no 4) if not, who?
then it hit me. I am mad at myself. I am mad at myself for letting my self get to the point where I cant run past him
It is no one but my own fault for not being able to be fit enough to do this.
The reason why im huffing and puffing so much is because of me. The people who have wronged me didn't shove that burger down my throat, or eat those extra large fries, or eat an entire bag of pop corn or made me go to two different places for fast food.
I was in denial until now. I get it now i really do. the reason why he passed me was not because he is better than me, it was because i didnt give my self the care enough to lose weight.
i didnt give myself the care enough to eat healthy. i wanted to eat shit because i felt like i was shit.
i felt like shit.
I cried today because i realized this. i realized that i can do this. i can do anything i need and want to.
i talked to my aunt today about everything. i even told her i was raped. that was really hard for me. for me to tell any family member other than cassy was a very big step for me.
i talked to her about everything and it was good. and she talked to me too. we are so much alike
today dustin and i kind of had a tiff. no big deal. at the time i wanted to give up on him
we were talking and he kept interupting me telling me he knew what i was saying. but i felt like he didnt since he wasnt listening.
i was saying that i was getting mad at him for taking off past me but really im mad at myself.
he's like i dont want you to be sad or mad please dont
i said its not because i am feeling sad or mad im taking credit for my actions
its myfault i couldnt do it no one elses.
he kept interrupting me . and i kept saying its not what you think, he says no i get it your mad for being heavy. your mad because you cant run we can run it again this time you can do it. i cried again and said your not listening listen to me!
then he took off . so i crossed the park and he ran! i was on the bench and he was running. he ran to me on the bench and sat down. we sat together and i talked to him calmly. im sorry we fought. im sorry. i wanted to tell you im not mad at anything. i am taking acredability to what i had done wrong.
i wronged myself.( i ate and ate until i got too big to do something i love. running.)
And he said i have never met anyone who took credit for their actions like you. never.
we talked it out and everything is ok now.
much better.
earlier i was so pist at him. he was being snippy and passive. i could not understand. i wanted to run on a tredmill at the gym. why? he asks.
i want to know why we cant do anything without him asking why? why not? oh because its cheap and i can do it anywhere. well guess what. i dont want to look like a failure when i hit the road and keep stoping i know that if im on a tredmill i can run as long as i want to.
its hard to run outside. i hate feeling like i cant do it. but now its ok. its ok to start out slow outside.
yeah running out side is free but i prefer to run on a mill, fine do what you want to i dont care go to the gym.
so i knew if i say hey lets run outside he'd be ok with it. i hate it though. he doesnt get that either. so i knew maybe if we exercised together we'd feel better. it did , but i felt kind of a douche and i felt like he was one too. so i bit my tongue for him and asked him to run outside with me.
he also doesnt get that i hate a certain exercise at the gym but i try it everytime, if i dont like it i wont do it.
hello! just because you dont like it doesnt mean its not good for you.
he was interupting me all the time at the park and saying that if he has something on his mind he'll say it when ever he wants to. and i said thats not fair. its inconsiderate.!!
he made it clear that it was because he wasnt sure if im ever done. i told him to just fucking ask ha ha h a any way. im off to bed. <3
day seven induction
So It's been one week since i started CHEAT FREE on induction!!! (CLAP YO HANDS!!))
making it this far, makes me think how can i ever go back! I Feel a little constipated at the moment ha ha ha
and im just doing what i do best drink coffee and type. I have a date with my Aunt today I am going to have a sleep over. So I need to bring some fish and whatever. arrggg.
going to watch some biggest loser get pumped up and then hit the scale and then hit the gym today :O this dog stinks!!
anyway, I am wanting to run, I am wanting to hit the weights too!! and sit in that sauna for like 10 minutes lol
I am anxious about getting on that scale. I would love it to read 198 or 197 or 196.
I know numbers are not everything, but im a taurus and it is. I want that scale to cover me with my gratitude!
I want to stand on that thing and it blow me a kiss! here is what you asked for <3 190 ha h ahahahhahah
I look great! I feel great too.
Atkins is amazing for me. I can feel this. I am not really sure about how long I want to stay on atkins induction. I think at least for the very least it needs to be the 2 weeks. But for the most part I would love to do this for a month maybe two. Dr. Atkins says that you can stay on induction and its healthy to do so for up to 6+ months.
Maybe I should read my book again. It gives me inspiration. My body heat was not high at all last night and I blame that on not enough fat and protein.
I ate far more veggies than I did ever yesterday. I think that might be good since its great to mix it up. Although I may have not lost as much.
I love this way of eating.
I was reading in runners world about all these people who have a lost legs and still run, or have over come hardships and ran their asses off.
110 lbs gone, 130 lbs dropped. and then i read about the things they accomplished and im like "why do i look so lazy!?!?"
So, I decided I am going to school. I signed up for my CNA class and I had an interview yesterday for a hospice place. I really am asking myself "what is keeping me from not being able to be a success and have a story like that of mine?
Then I have decided to start working on my obesity program for teen girls. There are several things I want
One is to have my friend amber apart of it.
two is a name, icon, mascot symbol
three to start a book.
I need pictures and before and after, sizes, research and what to do now's
the goal of the program is by the end of the summer, or end of the school year is to have these girls feeling more confident about themselves and be more healthy.
I want this to be kind of a big thing.
I want to be a great role model for young girls and i don't want them to feel like i did any more. High school is one of the shittiest times to go through and its especially hard when your big. I want success for these girls and i want it in any way i can get it!
got on that scale today and i am one pound down!! almost 2 today.
199.1!!
I am losing a pound a day with this. its day seven and i have lost 8 pounds so far. One day i had reached 197 only because i was throwing up the night before.
But I cannot complain about this. One pound per day sometimes two is gonna make me 190 by another week or more and then 10 more days after that i will be 180 again! by the first week of October I will be the lowest i have ever been. im so happy!!!
By the end of october I should be at my goal weight. YAY!!!
I will have to buy new clothes again. I will have to hem my clothes. and take my clothes to someone to get it done right. i know by the end of induction i will have made it to 190. and I can fit into this one shirt i bought.
i know when i hit 170 that shirt will be baggy. LOL
I AM SO HAPPY!!! this one picture i have i was 180-185 or so. i cant wait to start having skinny pictures of me soon. i know i look really good already but im saying i cant wait to be thin.
I cannot wait to be at my next goal of 192. Im kind of inpatient but at the same time im telling myself you deserve the patience. An excellent gift to me from me! XD
when i hit 195 again i will know i am doing phenomenal! when i lose 5 more i will be so fucking happy oh boy. i just went from 207 down to 199 in just 7 days. i will not have a scale tomorrow so i will just check the day after that. its nice to have the scale each morning because i can keep a critical eye on whether or not i am doing it right. so far so great!
GOAL 1: 197 MET!!! estimated hit date 9/5
GOAL 2: 192 estimated hit date 9/10
GOAL 3: 190 estimated hit date 9/12
GOAL 4: 188 estimated hit date 9/14
GOAL 5: 186 estimated hit date 9/16
GOAL 6: 184 estimated hit date 9/18
GOAL 7: 182 estimated hit date 9/20
GOAL 8: 180 estimated hit date 9/22
GOAL 9: 178 estimated hit date 9/24
GOAL 10: 176 estimated hit date 9/26
GOAL 11: 174 estimated hit date 9/28
GOAL 12: 172 estimated hit date 9/30
GOAL 13: 170 estimated hit date 10/2
GOAL 14: 168 estimated hit date 10/4
GOAL 15: 166 estimated hit date 10/6
GOAL 16: 164 estimated hit date 10/8
GOAL 17: 162 estimated hit date 10/10
GOAL 18: 160 estimated hit date 10/12
GOAL 19: 158 estimated hit date 10/14
GOAL 20: 156 estimated hit date 10/16
GOAL 21: 154 estimated hit date 10/18
GOAL 22: 153 estimated hit date 10/19
this means if i stay on target with induction i will see my goal weight in 1.5 months. i better keep up with running other wise i will not be looking too good. oh my god by halloween i will be looking my very hottest.
estimated hit dates make me feel good because then i can see my progression and dates.
its really cool for me to see this and say ok, 2 more days i will see 197 or 2 days after that 195 2 more 193 2 more 191 its amazing just 2 at a time slowly but surely XD
making it this far, makes me think how can i ever go back! I Feel a little constipated at the moment ha ha ha
and im just doing what i do best drink coffee and type. I have a date with my Aunt today I am going to have a sleep over. So I need to bring some fish and whatever. arrggg.
going to watch some biggest loser get pumped up and then hit the scale and then hit the gym today :O this dog stinks!!
anyway, I am wanting to run, I am wanting to hit the weights too!! and sit in that sauna for like 10 minutes lol
I am anxious about getting on that scale. I would love it to read 198 or 197 or 196.
I know numbers are not everything, but im a taurus and it is. I want that scale to cover me with my gratitude!
I want to stand on that thing and it blow me a kiss! here is what you asked for <3 190 ha h ahahahhahah
I look great! I feel great too.
Atkins is amazing for me. I can feel this. I am not really sure about how long I want to stay on atkins induction. I think at least for the very least it needs to be the 2 weeks. But for the most part I would love to do this for a month maybe two. Dr. Atkins says that you can stay on induction and its healthy to do so for up to 6+ months.
Maybe I should read my book again. It gives me inspiration. My body heat was not high at all last night and I blame that on not enough fat and protein.
I ate far more veggies than I did ever yesterday. I think that might be good since its great to mix it up. Although I may have not lost as much.
I love this way of eating.
I was reading in runners world about all these people who have a lost legs and still run, or have over come hardships and ran their asses off.
110 lbs gone, 130 lbs dropped. and then i read about the things they accomplished and im like "why do i look so lazy!?!?"
So, I decided I am going to school. I signed up for my CNA class and I had an interview yesterday for a hospice place. I really am asking myself "what is keeping me from not being able to be a success and have a story like that of mine?
Then I have decided to start working on my obesity program for teen girls. There are several things I want
One is to have my friend amber apart of it.
two is a name, icon, mascot symbol
three to start a book.
I need pictures and before and after, sizes, research and what to do now's
the goal of the program is by the end of the summer, or end of the school year is to have these girls feeling more confident about themselves and be more healthy.
I want this to be kind of a big thing.
I want to be a great role model for young girls and i don't want them to feel like i did any more. High school is one of the shittiest times to go through and its especially hard when your big. I want success for these girls and i want it in any way i can get it!
got on that scale today and i am one pound down!! almost 2 today.
199.1!!
I am losing a pound a day with this. its day seven and i have lost 8 pounds so far. One day i had reached 197 only because i was throwing up the night before.
But I cannot complain about this. One pound per day sometimes two is gonna make me 190 by another week or more and then 10 more days after that i will be 180 again! by the first week of October I will be the lowest i have ever been. im so happy!!!
By the end of october I should be at my goal weight. YAY!!!
I will have to buy new clothes again. I will have to hem my clothes. and take my clothes to someone to get it done right. i know by the end of induction i will have made it to 190. and I can fit into this one shirt i bought.
i know when i hit 170 that shirt will be baggy. LOL
I AM SO HAPPY!!! this one picture i have i was 180-185 or so. i cant wait to start having skinny pictures of me soon. i know i look really good already but im saying i cant wait to be thin.
I cannot wait to be at my next goal of 192. Im kind of inpatient but at the same time im telling myself you deserve the patience. An excellent gift to me from me! XD
when i hit 195 again i will know i am doing phenomenal! when i lose 5 more i will be so fucking happy oh boy. i just went from 207 down to 199 in just 7 days. i will not have a scale tomorrow so i will just check the day after that. its nice to have the scale each morning because i can keep a critical eye on whether or not i am doing it right. so far so great!
GOAL 1: 197 MET!!! estimated hit date 9/5
GOAL 2: 192 estimated hit date 9/10
GOAL 3: 190 estimated hit date 9/12
GOAL 4: 188 estimated hit date 9/14
GOAL 5: 186 estimated hit date 9/16
GOAL 6: 184 estimated hit date 9/18
GOAL 7: 182 estimated hit date 9/20
GOAL 8: 180 estimated hit date 9/22
GOAL 9: 178 estimated hit date 9/24
GOAL 10: 176 estimated hit date 9/26
GOAL 11: 174 estimated hit date 9/28
GOAL 12: 172 estimated hit date 9/30
GOAL 13: 170 estimated hit date 10/2
GOAL 14: 168 estimated hit date 10/4
GOAL 15: 166 estimated hit date 10/6
GOAL 16: 164 estimated hit date 10/8
GOAL 17: 162 estimated hit date 10/10
GOAL 18: 160 estimated hit date 10/12
GOAL 19: 158 estimated hit date 10/14
GOAL 20: 156 estimated hit date 10/16
GOAL 21: 154 estimated hit date 10/18
GOAL 22: 153 estimated hit date 10/19
this means if i stay on target with induction i will see my goal weight in 1.5 months. i better keep up with running other wise i will not be looking too good. oh my god by halloween i will be looking my very hottest.
estimated hit dates make me feel good because then i can see my progression and dates.
its really cool for me to see this and say ok, 2 more days i will see 197 or 2 days after that 195 2 more 193 2 more 191 its amazing just 2 at a time slowly but surely XD
Thursday, September 2, 2010
day six induction
So i bought my ketosis strips and measured my ketone's and i am definitely burning them.
Last night my boyfriend and I could feel it. My body was burning up, but I was feeling ok. I was getting goose bumps last night from a movie and my skin felt like it was sun burned.
I have been doing very well on this so far. today i weighed in at 200. I think it was having to do with fluctuated water weight and perhaps the fact that i wasnt completely empty! lol
So I am hoping that by the end of the weekend I can be at around 196-197
If this is day six i have about a week and a day left. I am so proud of myself for getting almost a week in!
I need to work out tomorrow for sure. I think I will get a whole days worth in. i will bring my ketone sticks and make a whole day of working out. running, biking, swimming??? I know its a lot to do but it would definitely make me burn and use more ketones. im going to do some research if you burn more ketones during different parts of the day because i seem to be hotter MUCH hotter at night vs the day.
so i just got done doing some research ha ha ha i love research, and i found that the longer you go without eating the more ketones you discard. so when its night time and i am burning like a fire pit, it is because that is the longest i am going without food! so im burning that rather than my food i just ate XD
my boyfriend could smell my sweet breath. all i know is i need to drink more water.
i learned you excrete ketones through breath, stool and urine. fiber+ water+ toothpaste? LOL
I am going to go to my aunts house friday to spend the night there and i have to bring my own food because i dont want to starve and i dont want to not eat!
I am doing very well with this and i am very proud of myself for what i am accomplishing!!
tomorrow will be exercise, and hopefully im down more weight in the AM
Im feeling really good and my attitude is so much better. i notice i am getting along better with my boyfriend. and i am more occupied on this than other stupid things :)
Last night my boyfriend and I could feel it. My body was burning up, but I was feeling ok. I was getting goose bumps last night from a movie and my skin felt like it was sun burned.
I have been doing very well on this so far. today i weighed in at 200. I think it was having to do with fluctuated water weight and perhaps the fact that i wasnt completely empty! lol
So I am hoping that by the end of the weekend I can be at around 196-197
If this is day six i have about a week and a day left. I am so proud of myself for getting almost a week in!
I need to work out tomorrow for sure. I think I will get a whole days worth in. i will bring my ketone sticks and make a whole day of working out. running, biking, swimming??? I know its a lot to do but it would definitely make me burn and use more ketones. im going to do some research if you burn more ketones during different parts of the day because i seem to be hotter MUCH hotter at night vs the day.
so i just got done doing some research ha ha ha i love research, and i found that the longer you go without eating the more ketones you discard. so when its night time and i am burning like a fire pit, it is because that is the longest i am going without food! so im burning that rather than my food i just ate XD
my boyfriend could smell my sweet breath. all i know is i need to drink more water.
i learned you excrete ketones through breath, stool and urine. fiber+ water+ toothpaste? LOL
I am going to go to my aunts house friday to spend the night there and i have to bring my own food because i dont want to starve and i dont want to not eat!
I am doing very well with this and i am very proud of myself for what i am accomplishing!!
tomorrow will be exercise, and hopefully im down more weight in the AM
Im feeling really good and my attitude is so much better. i notice i am getting along better with my boyfriend. and i am more occupied on this than other stupid things :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
day five induction
I weighed in today and I am very happy to say I have lost 10 lbs in only 5 days!! Cravings are gone, headaches are gone, hunger gone, and today I feel most amazing.
I weigh 197 today. So I hit a goal!
GOAL 1: 197 MET!!!
GOAL 2: 192
GOAL 3: 190
GOAL 4: 188
GOAL 5: 186
GOAL 6: 184
GOAL 7: 182
GOAL 8: 180
GOAL 9: 178
GOAL 10: 176
GOAL 11: 174
GOAL 12: 172
GOAL 13: 170
GOAL 14: 168
GOAL 15: 166
GOAL 16: 164
GOAL 17: 162
GOAL 18: 160
GOAL 19: 158
GOAL 20: 156
GOAL 21: 154
GOAL 22: 153
GOAL 2: 192
GOAL 3: 190
GOAL 4: 188
GOAL 5: 186
GOAL 6: 184
GOAL 7: 182
GOAL 8: 180
GOAL 9: 178
GOAL 10: 176
GOAL 11: 174
GOAL 12: 172
GOAL 13: 170
GOAL 14: 168
GOAL 15: 166
GOAL 16: 164
GOAL 17: 162
GOAL 18: 160
GOAL 19: 158
GOAL 20: 156
GOAL 21: 154
GOAL 22: 153
good for me! I am very satisfied with this right now. I love this way of eating. My eyes are very puffy today from all the crying I did last night.
Last night I went to go have a talk with my parents. My sister came too. We were each others support.
Well, my mom was high on anti anxiety pills or high off weed or something because she was not acting "with it"
I felt ashamed of her that she could not even sit in front of me and ever talk to me. I have some mom issues. I blew up on her. I have had my fair share of her bullshit and I am done. She has hurt me and my sister. Alienated my family and I do not wish to be apart of her life nor does she even deserve to be apart of mine.
We were trying to discuss the whole parents moving to Texas thing, they were downplaying the situation making Cassy feel like she is "just domestic" and saying that her plans are not as ambitious as mine.
so that made cassy sad. I was trying to just really sit in and be apart of the family, however I felt very unwelcome. The only reason I had anything to do with her in the first place was because of my grandpa and my dad. This is my own damn decision, I hate that woman. she is a piece of shit.
So I went home and got so drunk I was throwing up and spinning.
I know I cannot do that. I was out of control last night and I hate feeling like that. I need to not let her get to me any more.
So I will lose weight, go to school and become everything that she is not. I need to do some home work and make sure that I am going to be successful rather than a failure unlike my parents.
I really do feel so much better today. I didn't have to work today which is great!
hungover like a beast today though which sucks.
I got my pounds and inches book from the internet today. Im still waiting for a few things like my note book sleeve and my b vitamins.
im going to sign up for my cna class and get that over with so i can go to nursing school.
I want to show cassy that its possible to do this.
I cannot wait to hit my second goal 192. that is only 5 lbs away!! if i got 10 in 5 days maybe i could get another 10?? i know i am in ketosis for sure my face is always hot.
wow just thinking if i had lost another 10 lbs in 5 days what that would be like for me i would be at 187. and i would be only 7 lbs away from where i left off in march. i would look smokin good.
180 was a size 14 for me. that means i would need to go get my jeans taken in and i can wear some other things. i am really really really excited!!! i have lost 10 lbs.i feel so good.
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