day seventeen induction

wow, day seventeen. that is almost 20 days which is almost one fuckin month!!! so i have yet to get my booty on the scale this morning. i read somewhere that if you take fiber like extra fiber you should not count it. so i may be going under my carb count. then i was thinking i was kind of going over. i dont know they say not to count eggs. it confuses me a little but im still going to count it i guess. :)
i met a friend on the ABB and we talked to each other on fb and we hit it off. oh my god!!! 195.3 bitches!!!!! i did it i lost another almost 2 lbs. it was that fucking water weight! it was sodium i really wanted to drink a diet coke so bad. i wanted it but i did not have it. i drank my green tea instead. so good to say its coming off and i am so glad i stuck to this way of eating. so its day 3 on my extended induction and i have no worries about it right now.
im not really hungry but i know i will be later so i need to make me some eggs :)
drink some water and i need to get ready for work today. i didnt run like i wanted to yesterday. i was so tired god so tired.
maybe today.
class is long but very worth it to me.
im always excited about running. it makes me feel so good.
it makes me learn that i need to have patience with my self.
like im a little kid and im reteaching myself how to eat and be healthy and if i mess up i cant be too hard on sarah.
if i was teaching someone how to have good eating behavior i wouldnt call this person names or make that other person feel bad. i would tell them keep going you are doing just fine!!
so i need to treat myself as if i am standing besides myself teaching ME to eat good and not to get too hard on myself.i really hope that tomorrow i am down more.
i would love that scale to say 180 again. that was my lowest weight. i felt so good.
i got so much attention. and i am pretty excited about what the end of the month, what i will look like.
now that i got the sodium under control i think im pretty much on my way to losing this weight.
thats all for now i bet ill write again. im going to get ready for work then head out and after that i think i wanna stop at the gym and work out and then hit up a coffee shop :) sounds fun!!


-later this day-

went to the coffee shop got some coffee then my friend amanda calls me. i have not heard from this chick in a long time. went over to her place and we cought up. she had not seen me for a whole year and flipped out when she saw me. she said i looked really good and that i have inspired her to go to school. and she wants to start doing good now too. its really great to see that. i love it!! i love being able to inspire people. i feel like i have a gift for people. its amazing. what a beautiful life i live.
i am so lucky. tomorrow i know ill have lost another pound. when i see 193 i will probably be so content ill freak out!!
if i ever saw 193 again i would be so impressed i will want to run again.
i loved my run today. i am so proud of myself for that as well. i drink so much water its so good for me.
today for dinner i had 1/4 avocado, my cilantro dressing i made which is (1/4 cup water, 2 tbls olive oil, a whole bunch of cilantro, 1/2 avocado, 1/4 cup salsa, 4 tbls green onion)
and blend :)
with my boca meat i made taco meat with just cumin, and chili powder, then i cooked that in olive oil. til it was crispy then i combined 1/4 bell pepper and more onion. and cooked all that with the dressing
then i ate it with cheese and lettuce as substitute for tortilla
its amazing how good food is.
as a snack i really want to make these cupcake things my friend told me about. wow yesterday i went with a low sodium day and just now i ate a piece of cheese. it was so salty yuk!! and i was eating this cheese.
i've been learning a ton about this diet. i love eating this way.

day sixteen induction

we went to the movie theatre the other day and i was getting kind of ass hurt about all the fat chicks being able to eat whatever the fuck they want to. and i was feeling like i was having to pay the penalty since i cant eat that heaping pile of nachos or hot dog. then we went to dinner last night at a T.G.I.F's and i ordered salmon and shrimp with broccoli and sauce on the side and didnt eat my rice and i had a side salad. it was great. however people left and right were eating mounds and mounds of mashed potatoes, and rice! and cheese cake and it was just like oh fuck im not losing anything right now maybe i should just quit. but i didnt in hope of seeing the scale go down. today it was 197.3. so im going to have to be even more strict with what i eat. i want to read my book but i really hardly have any time right now. thank god tomorrow is monday and i have work 1130-130 thats going to be nice only a few hours and i can sleep in a bit. and i need to do reading for homework, and reading my book and i need to run. so today i am going to bring my gym bag and wear - what if i look nasty wearing them. never mind i will just bring my gym bag. then hit the gym after school and then come home and start reading for school and doing home work and getting ready for the next day. dustin said he'd like to make me dinner and i would love that.
i also noticed i was eating a ton of dressing. ranch. so i decided to make my own, olive oil, vinegar and lemon juice. on my spinach salad with ice burg too to break up the spinach, and this morning im eating eggs 4 eggs 1 yolk 3 whites.
i think i was having too much fun with sodium. so i am going to eat eggs for breakfast and salads for lunch, then for dinner fish or something.
salsa, dressings, cheeses have lots of sodium so i need to cut that down. really. i do.
i also noticed i was drinking green tea too and i cut that out as well.  i really think that my period was out of whack and it is getting back and that is why im experiencing this. well i gotta get ready now so i will ttyl

day fifteen induction

so scale has not moved. i am constipated. not very happy with my body right now. and i almost drank a whole gallon of water today. WTF. i am getting very discouraged right now.scale reads 198 right now and that is pissing me off. im at 16 carbs right now and im hungry. i need to eat less sodium from now on and no more aspertame. god i do want a diet coke though. so bad. i got pms symptoms after my period! i will continue though i feel that i am still in ketosis right now. im needing to pooh though. i drank coffee and still could not. god please stop playing games with my heart ive been working too hard on this!!

day fourteen induction

so today is day 14 of induction. and i am drinking some coffee right now, getting ready to get ready ha ha ha
getting ready for my day. i have work today and i will be going over to help some elderly people. wow that made me sound like a real hero huh...
its 0730 and i am only having to go to work for 2 hours. tomorrow i start school! i need to get a note book and folder/binder im sure. any way, last night dustin and i went to red lobster and they had the all you can eat shrimp. which believe me, was amazing. got kind of gassy but it was ok. dustin and i took some pictures last night. and then he took one of me, well several of me that i didnt really care for because i looked really fat. i was trying so hard to pose a certain way. i mean i didnt have to worry about a double chin any more which was really nice but i did worry about my arms, and my stomach. yikes. we were starting to chill out after that and he was going to pick me up, but then he noticed he could feel my ribs and that made me feel so good! we both took some daring photos, but there were some that he took that he really liked. basically took me out of my own skin!!it was pretty exciting. i would have never done anything like that.
i was wearing my ring was soo loose yesterday i flipped my hand a few times and it slipped right off. its a size 9 and i know its wrong since he and i went to look at rings a few weeks ago and i was a size 8.
he and i got into a fight about 2 nights ago. he lashed out at me accusing me of not paying much attention to him since i have my "blogging, and your running" he made me feel as if caring about myself and bettering myself was a fucking crime. come to find out, after we talked for a bit, that he is just depressed because he doesnt have anything going for him. so i asked him what he wanted or what he can see himself doing and he just said "all i see myself doing is being a parent, I want to take care of my children" and i thought that was so fucking sweet.
that man amazes me all the time. i do do a lot with my free time and i do want to do a lot in my future. its ok for him to not know what he wants to do right now. and its sad that he is depressed i was there and he just listened to me and told me things will work out ok for me. and i should not worry or think i was a failure. he's where i was a few weeks ago. now that i got my job and such im doing much better. im always excited for tomorrow.
today resident evil comes out!!! were going to go see it!
he is working with his dad today and i have a few hours at work.
he gets unemployment. i just would like for him to find a hobby. so far all its been is at the computer and god knows what else he does on it too. mmmm veggie patty. egg whites, cheese, and CADO!!
yumm
breakfast usually ends up being like 5 carbs each day. 198 on the scale today. i have 15 minutes to get ready and leave so, ill end it with, cant wait for this water weight to end NOW

day thirteen induction

so my internet is down but im still going to write. today is day thirteen of induction and it is 9/9/10. a thursday :)
so, last night i talked to my cousin chrissy and she shared with me that she knows my mom has a problem. The problem she is talking about is OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder. And Barbara has it too. Chrissy told me that barbara has bipolar as well and she has reason to believe that my mom has it too. So she suggested that I look into this as well.
If chrissy is right, and there are things to suggest that my mom does have it and i can see this, then i may be a compulsive over eater. and that would make a lot of sense since its ocd and my eating. i wonder what else is in the pot too.
yesterday i didnt run, i just decided to take the day off. so today i want to run fo' sho!!
i am still at 196 which pisses me off because that is me stalling. i cant wait for this water weight to get the fuck off my body. also, i felt so dicouraged last night. i was thinking to myself i should just quit. god i just wanted to quit. so i kept thinking its going to be ok, just keep doing what you have been doing. drink lots of water, maybe i need to cut coffee a bit, and alcohol. leave me to my one cup in the morning and just dont drink alcohol. i think i need to not drink any more either since alcoholism runs in the family i am highly subsceptable to being an alcoholic. im drinking coffee with splenda and a tiny bit.
i need to go get a money order today for 350 and go get a notebook for my class.
i need to go to the health department for my tb shit, then i need to call the insurance company or maybe that can wait until i get my shit in the mail.
laundry and a run, maybe track run while dustin walks the dog.
well i will add more later just needed to get some shit off my shoulders
ttyl

day twelve induction

so, 196 this morning. and i am noticing some amazing things going on to my body. im smoothing out, my arms look much better and i am feeling overall so much better. i am being able to have a deep connection with myself. and running is getting better for me.
i was looking at my legs and i am seeing definition, and with my clothes on my "love handles" dont poke out. my arms are smoothing out and i see definition there too. my collar bone is showing nicely and in my theighs i can see definition as well.
im ok with 196 right now. however i do hope that its just for the time being. over all on induction i have lost (so far) 207 - 196 = 11 lbs. and that is great!! i have stayed in ketosis for the who time. and i know that when i start this in for my 3erd week itll be more. i was hoping i would be losing more than just that. i understand lots of things are coming into play. Muscle, which means that i will be burning more calories and more weight at a much higher level and weight will literally be falling off me.
and / or water retention since my period is here. i read in the new atkins book that eating this way can help get rid of poly cystic ovarian syndrome. i hope in my case that works out. since i quit smoking and i changed the way i eat my ability to have children will increase. this book im reading is magnificant. i love it. i love all the information and itsgreat!! i woke up today and i dont feel too sore. i feel good.
i have work at 11 and from what my friend says i will be there 8 hrs. so thats until 7 o'clock. im going to want to run again i know this. so i think and feel that i will either be tired or something else, maybe i will have the energy to run but i wont make that expectation on my self.
i had another dream about juan last night. i am so tired of thinking about him. i dont think about him, well kind of, only because im worried i will run into him.
my  dream of him was weird because we were at some sort of function and he showed up. i remember being dissapointed in that and wanting to leave.
in my dream i was going grocery shopping and i was upset because as soon as i got the food to the car it was all eaten.
ha ha ha
anyway, i hope the water weight goes away. sometimes i gain anywhere between 5-10 lbs of water.
i hope that when im done with my period i will see 190 very soon. i need more water :)
i drink a lot though ha ha ha i need to bring lunch and fix my hair and get ready for my day! ttyl!! <3

day eleven induction

so only a few more days left. i know im in ketosis yet i know im hanging on to water weight. and im at 196 and it wont go anywhere else. this poses a threat to me, im nervous that i will stall. yet i know this wont happen since i am burning ketones i know i am losing the weight its just the time of month and that frustrates me. i was hoping i would be at around 194. i am usually really good at keeping my water weight on at 5-10 pounds. if this is true im already at about 190 192. thats good for me. i will not let this discourage me from continuing to do my thing. i usually hang on to this water for around a week its retarded. i've been drinking a ton of water and exercising too.  and being really good about salt. maybe more water? i cant wait til tom is over.