so this morning i woke up and i feel good enough to run today not that sore at all.
made a few phone calls, did some chores and ate breakfast.
olive oil  0
avocado- 2.4
eggs 3-1 .8
salsa- .5
fiber-1
bee pollen- .4
= 5.1
coffee and water too
i feel so full right now. that was quite a bit of food for breakfast!!
i made myself a mix for my ipod for my workout!
very excited!!!
i didnt weigh myself which is something big to me since i have been guilty of weighing myself up to 7 times a day. they are right when they say to weigh yourself at the same time each week because you may get discouraged.
what im hoping from this week is to run 5 out of the 7 days. and at least work out 6 of the 7 days. tomorrow i have a mary kay thing with cassy at ten or nine so i will be working out with her tomorrow.
swimming and gym. it will be nice.
then sunday we have a family get together perhaps i can go to the gym before.
then monday i have dinner with a close friend jessica who is like a little sister to me.
tuesday i start my first day of work at like 3 or something so i will go running before that. wed- on i dont know what i got going on. but i do know i will be running!!
so when i get back from the gym i will need to drink some water. and maybe eat some lunch. im thinking my veggie patty as like a hamburger with no bun deal. very low carbs. only 2 per patty. and cheese dont forget cheese lol
then for dinner i may have salmon, maybe ill make sushi for dinner i dont know.
but i do know is im glad i got back my inspiration again and all it took was a good pair of running shoes!
what i want from the day is a great workout. no competition. i want to meditate. and relax. i want to stay ontop of my controlled carb way of life and eating today... all day.
so far is so good and i feel much better about eating this way than with HCG. god that shit sucked!!.
500 calories and thats it!!
and no exercise that is not for me thank you very much. i enjoy eating and exercising. atkins challenges me to go without carbs. which is smart since it will make my blood sugar level good again. i remember how excited i was when i hit my 4th day on induction i had so much energy it was crazy i was in such an amazing mood too. like i didnt need anti depressants any longer!
it made me feel great because it was organic living. it was science i could see and feel. i love atkins. i love staying on induction. i think i strayed away from it because i was getting burned out on it. whoa man when i hit 180 ill be happy!! and thats like what? a month and a half. at least on atkins they tell you exercise is necessary and it is. on HCG they say no exercise. thats fucking stupid. i didnt get where i am without it. how could i think i couldnt and dont need it. PREPOSTEROUS!! you go through this sugar withdraw , then you get depressed because a) your not eating as much and eating makes us happy b) your not getting sugar.
so you become slumped and depressed. the exercise is supposed to get you to feel ok with all the chemical releasing of dopamine and seratonin. those neurotransmitters help with what you are missing. then you start becoming dependent on exercise which is not bad for you duh!!
its about noon now and im almost ready to hit the ground!! XD i love this time i get on my laptop, coffee and breakfast. i love starting the day like "hey, rock out with your cock out!!"
lol my biceps are looking amazing! yesterday i leg pressed quite a bit, when i was running i shocked my boyfriend :) made myself proud. finally something i can do better than him. it sucks but when i go with him to do anything he competes with me and i hate it. im not at all competitive. i do things because I WANT to. not because someone is behind me and will catch up and i got to make them look like a loser. thats what i think about competition. in his case he's like that because his cousin and his older brother were always competing with him and he hated looking like he couldnt do something. but the thing is he was younger than them. i see the things he has as a fuck you ha ha ha who's better now bitch type syndrome.
i was never like that. i was always oh fuck now im a loser, oh well wont be the first time. and my mom competing with me sucked. she would do it in strength "oh yeah you think your stronger than me??!!!" and then hit me. always putting me down for shit. never made me want to be a better person just made me bitter to her. with cassy it sucked because she was always the skinny one and into sports. well maybe not into them but she did better than me at running. she was the runner. and thinner, and prettier, and in basketball. i was in volley ball. which i was good at but i wanted to be physically built for the game. i think i want to get into volley ball again.
i dont know how cassy was a running and i hated it but now i love it. what drove her to do that?? perhaps i shall ask her.
i remember all the kids making fun of me for being fat. i was a minority in Los Angeles. well my family was. if i wasnt being called a fat ass by my classmates it was coming from my mom. my dad understood me. he told me he was always a big kid too and his mom constantly put him on diets. but it never worked.
and that i was always beautiful in his eyes. he was always really good about being there for me emotionally. thats what i loved about him. when my mom did something i could cry on his shoulder.
i run because of anger
i run because of hatred
i run because of fear
i run because of despise
i run because of animosity
i run because of turmoil
internal
i run because of contentment, bliss, beauty, and everything else i believe in that makes me happy
i run for me. NO ONE ELSE!!
i run to think and feel and love all at the same time. wow running makes me happy. i guess i should go run instead of talk about it. LOL  TTYL