so today is day four and i noticed my urine smelled like honey bunches of oats. it smelled really sweet.
i dropped another pound. 200.6 today!!!
that is remarkable.
so that means i dropped, 7 lbs in just 3 days. i got my hcg in the mail but i have no idea what to eat for breakfast and lunch etc... so i am waiting for my book in the mail, gonna do some research and then continue with that.
this is the time around my period where im gaining water weight not losing it. im very impressed with myself that i was able to continue.
so i was at 207.8
180.0
------------
27.8
7.8
---------------
20 LBS i need to finish losing
so im going to continue with this.
i feel good today. really good. just need to wake up and i get to clean up again.
im having some family issues again. my grandpa butler is in the hospital. he was bit by a spider and it caused him to go to the hospital. that got infected and is spreading up his body. he's not doing too good right at the moment now.
i've got a "meeting" with my parents today and i have a gut feeling it will lead to nothing but more pist off people.
my poor sister is feeling like she shouldnt have a voice in the matter but she does!
i feel like my parents are moving because nothing seems like its going right here.
my points are going to be that there is really no excuse to move out of the state other than they are board and they want a change. which is selfish. and i am calling them on the carpet about it.
my dad has ms and they are using that as a scapegoat to move. dallas has some of the best ms clinics in the us! OH WELL the university of utah has some of the best ms clinics in the world! so ya really gonna move because of that well no not a very good point. oh its cheaper down there so we can help your dad and grandpa more. well knowing my mom she is gun hoe about it now but when she really has to take care of both of them (who actually can take care of themselves) she will get resentfull and have problems with this later. she can never do anything for anyone else unless she see's something in it for herself. I may be saying this out of anger, however i believe my dad will not be able to handle the life style he has now and he will pass because of this.
they moved my sister and i because of lots of excuses now they have lots more to move to texas. their relationship with my aunt and uncle are not so good right now because of my mother.
so with that said to me it looks like they just want to move to change scenery and that is not good for my dad. this is not good for my dad. im accusing my mother of going too far with the elaborate dinner for my grandpa because to me it seemed as though she was kissing his ass too far. later i find out through cassy that my mom did say "i hope your grandpa says its ok for us to move out there" and "we need to start cleaning out the garage for packing" getting an apraiser for the house, see these are all things that are like "hey, were moving" and to me, fine go move im glad you are because i dont want to see her fucking face here. it will be much easier to ignore them when they dont live here. much easier for me not to worry about my dad giving me a guilt trip to make things right with my mom even though she feels like she doesnt have to. so nice to know that one day its ok for her and i to have a great day and have a nice visit with one another yet then next time im curious as to why she is acting as if i need to bend over backwards to get attention from her. i wanted a mutual respect i want a mutual understanding of unconditional love. if she cannot provide me with even that shred of descency then fuck her!
i am so tired of being guilted into being nice to her. when all i ever am is nice to her. im the one making the effort she is not. when we can both say we have both made an equal effort out of nothing but unselfish qualities then yes i can go for it.
i dont buy into any of her bullshit. especially when she made that dinner for my grandpa. i brought this up to my dad and he said "if your father in law came into town you'd want to make a big deal about it too"
however it looked suspicious. and grandpa is a simple man. he was telling us this at the dinner table. that things dont matter when everything is said and done for. there was no need for it other than and alternative motive. and they wanted to kiss his ass so it would be easier for them to make this move.
i know they are going to point fingers at me and cassy.
and poor cassy!!!
i mean this, cassy is under so much stress because of this it makes me sad and tired.
cassy feels that our parents are being hystarical about this. and very contradicting. that my parents are saying dont criticize me about our life changes yet when cassy wants to have a life change our mother in particular will be the first one to criticize and let her know how its going to be done.
cassy would like to have a baby, my parents want to move, my parents are whining about not getting support yet they didnt even give any to cassy. and another thing about support why does david joining the marines not scare them!?!?!? why is it that they can get a big screen tv and new couches and new flooring yet cassy and david get to suffer without college money!?!?! its selfish thats why this whole fucking thing is about what they want not what they need to do as parents.
so that made me feel better. usually at this time i am hungry but im not at all. i have no cravings for anything and i have no desire to eat. wow.!!!!
i love atkins for more than one reason.
*better attitude
*helps depression
*helps anxiety
*helps tension
*promotes healthier eating
*promotes weight loss
*helps with hunger
*helps with cravings
*helps with appetite
*helps with hormones
*helps with PMS symptoms
*helps with skin, hair and nail growth
*leveled out blood sugar!
*positive attitude
*more energy
*better everything!!
so without cravings and stuff like that my hormones are under control. and i can actually live without feeling hungry or tired because i need a sugar fix or shit like that
i am very proud of being on day 4 of induction. i have always failed on 1-3 that was my weakest times
so being on day four makes me feel very accomplished.
im very excited to see what this next week and a half brings me weight wise.
i would love to see myself down to 190 by the middle of september
then by end of september be down to 180 again!!
perhaps being down to 170 by mid october
and 160 by end of october.
i have to start exercising again. you know i was making exuses and then just erased them ha ha ha im going to clean up here do some chores and then head to the gym come home and shower and then head out to my sisters. we have a lot to talk about today and get off our chests. i still need to eat lol
No comments:
Post a Comment