p2d4

its 5pm and im kind of lost this steam a bit.... i noticed yesterday i had a dip like this in my energy.
http://hcgplease.blogspot.com/2011/03/first-and-foremost.html

this is my new blog. its about hcg. and kind of like a journal for people who are on hcg.

i cannot wait until tomorrow. i have work at 3 pm tomorrow and i have an over the phone interview at 11 am.
so i need to fix up my resume i have a lot to look forward to tomorrow.
its tuesday i could go see cody after work but im not sure if i am going to. i kind of want to go through the week even til next tuesday and see if he would notice a difference and actually go on a romantic date with him. i want to see what size ill be wearing next tuesday :P
wow that is a whole week and im supposed to lose 14 lbs then! i would be at 173!!! holy shit!! thats a big difference! he hasnt even seen me at 180 let alone lower 170's??
  wow i cant wait!!
so i just cut up cucumbers and used salsa to dip them in. i also ate my melba toast with my salsa and it was sooooo delicious.
so instead of using tortilla chips i used cucumbers.

i want food though. cravings are still around. :/

 the other night. well night one i guess. i really really really wanted a foot long meatball sandwich with extra cheddar cheese and on zesty parm bread. then i had a craving last night for a meatball sandwich but it wasnt as bad. i only wanted a 6 inch meatball. then today i just wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
yesterday i was nuts over pickles! and then today i had eaten pickle chips with mustard kind of reminding me of a burger. not a meat burger but like a veggie burger...
i miss food. but its only been since 6 pm that i got wanting to eat something.
having cravings for food. i think i need more water through the day. but it was kind of hard for me to drink my water today since it was so busy at work.

peanut butter on wheat bread with fresh raspberry jam sounds really nice right now.
im drinking my water with fiber.
damn i want this pb and j sandwich with heavy peanut butter! thick extra thick peanut butter.

so it hasnt been that i was craving sweets. im so proud of myself for this being day 4. tomorrow is day 5!!!
down another 2 lbs???? we'll see.
im to be continuing this to my next blog....................  its been good.

80% p2d4

i feel like its ok for me to upgrade to 80% from 70% this will be some of the few last blogs i do for weight loss because i want to start a new one for just HCG. i cannot believe its already day 4 of this. i have not even looked back!! i have been so good and staying on track. i wake up earlier, i feel good. i am burning ketones like a bamf.
i was checking them last night and they read moderate to high. then this morning my breath reeeeeeks and my face is so hott. i was not too happy about seeing only a .6 drop in my weight for yesterday.
i have not been sticking to it. at work i have been touching pam and grease so that might have a play in this. i didnt eat my apples yesterday. :/ i know i need to.
im hoping that today when i get on the scale that it reads 190 would be so nice to see. im worried about a stall.
i woke up really really thirsty. i am so fucking thirsty right now im like chugging my coffee. wow. also last night was prob not a good idea to weigh in since i have been drinking so much water! im guzzling it!!
today i am going to set up my new HCG blog.
i think im going to add some video to this. i found this

http://diets.fast-weightloss-plans.org/2011/03/19/day-13-of-the-hcg-diet-protocol-by-dr-simeons-kevin-trudeau-energy-and-euphoria/ 


and i was interested in figuring out something....
yesterday i got stoned with cody :P and i was sitting and just could not fucking stop moving. i needed to go for a walk. i needed to do something physical. so he and i both went to the park and walked and walked around the neighborhood. it was great i dont know what that was all about. i was on my feet all day from work 8 hrs. and then i wanted to keep standing and moving and we even went on the swings! i had so much energy!! and it was only day 3!! bizzaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee

i hope my weight loss today is a good one. i want to get on that scale and see a good decent loss.
i will still be ok with just 1 lb loss but hell even a .5 is good. "how else do you lose a half pound?!"
any way im worried about all the walking i did yesterday i didnt eat my apples i did great! but i wasnt hungry for my apples. i am not hungry! im gonna take a shower here in a bit. then i will weigh in.
cody really wants to go shopping for his food so he can start this.
i am so happy he wants to start. i think his weight is 250 and he's about 5'10 i believe. i need to start running again. i think i can do it while on this diet. i have read that if you already have an exercise regimin you can exercise.
man i cant tell you how much criticism i have gotten for this protocol

so i have lost another 4 lbs. i am so fucking happy. today i lost 4 pounds holy shit!!!!!
4 lbs!!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
wow i am so happy!!!
this stuff really works oh my god. i dont even feel like i need to stop i could just stay on this for ever this is so amazing!!!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 4 lbs!!!!!!! holy moly!!!! so its not even the start of the day so in three days i have lost 8.5 lbs.
i feel great! i am at 187.9 as of this morning. i will blog more later i need to start my new blog on hcg!
i wonder what tomorrow brings... another 4 lbs?? if so that would put me at 183?
wow then at the end of this week ill be which is only another 3-4 days i will be at 179 my lowest weight i have seen. that is only at a rate of 2 lbs per day.
then at another week (gotta stay on for at least 3 weeks) in 2 weeks by losing 2 lbs per day that is 14 lbs. so at the end of this 21 day round i think i will be at a 173 lb victory.
i dont know if i want to stop there. maybe i want to keep going. i think maybe 4 weeks?
then i can be at 159?? maybe maybe maybe. this is so awesome im so happy with the weight loss. im so excited for the next weeks progress. i cant wait to see tomorrow. tomorrow if i lose another 2 lbs i will be at my lowest weight that i have seen in a little while if i lost 4 lbs if i got to 184 that will be the lowest weight i have seen in ages. like since before october of last year!!
incredible. i feel so awesome!!. i love this i love this losing weight!! im so happy.  when i get to see 170's im going to celebrate by getting my hair done. maybe when i see 160 i dont even know what i would look like at 170. 180 i think i looked great. 170 i hope i dont look weird. i love this and cannot wait to start blogging about my other stuff!!!   HCG is working wonderfully!!!

p2d3

oh boy oh boyo! so its in the AM and im just waking up and gonna move around a bit. im drinking some coffee and bloggin away! woot woot. i checked my urine on the ketone strips and i am burning them at a really good rate. i over indulged in my melba toast last night. god i was fantasizing about food again. i wanted a meat ball sandwich on zesty parmasean bread with goooey cheese and extra sauce. ohh man thats aweful. now im back in the mind set where i miss atkins. well already i am noticing that my colar bone is sticking out more.
im hungry a bit right now.but not anything coffee couldnt help. oh my god i love drinking coffee
i did not stray on the diet. i stayed good except for the toast but shit at least its the toast and not beer or something right?? im proud of myself today is day three and i was wanting food so bad again last night. i almost wanted to just go downstairs and eat and gorge on all the chips there and whatever. ooooh its march 20th. april 6th will be 20 days on hcg and i want to go at least 3 weeks on it. 3 weeks is 21 days. so i at least want that.
im expecting to see a stall on the scale today. last night i weighed in at 193.4 but i DRANK SO MUCH FUCKING WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 liters yesterday im sure. i drank tea and coffee i had some diet soda.
im still expecting to see some progress but not like yesterdays 192.0 i got down that far yesterday afternoon. i was so surprised. so if i see 191.0 i need to be ok with that. i need to understand that it is a 1 lb per day diet not a fucking 4 lbs loss days every day all the time. i will be impatient if i see 192. and or 193. this mean s war ha ha ha.
last night i felt sooooo good i felt like i was having this sense of wholesomeness within me. god damn this coffee is good.
i felt that euphoria for sure. i smoked some weed last night and it hightened my high. i did go to a poker party last night and there was a shit ton of alcohol. i didnt have anything to drink. i was so happy that i didnt feel like i had to have it. i got to go into work. i need to weigh myself. im nervous. i have to poop but it will take a while for the coffee to kick in. AND i havent really moved around a whole bit so i dont know how accurate this is gonna be. i am so proud of myself for sticking true for 2 whole days. it sounds dumb but this is the hardest diet i have ever tried. my aunt is really concerned for me about only having 500 calories. and she has every right to be concerned i agree with her, but she has not read anything on it. all she knows is its 500 calories and a "DRUG" you take.today is day three. i feel good. i only went to bed at 230 am last night i was able to jump out of bed today . i am curious if im still burning ketones.
my face feels hot my body is starting to move around. i love the feeling im getting off this. im not high but its so weird to say. im going to be late to work fuck them.
i was talking to cody last night about it and he is willing to try it still. i text him yesterday about my loss and he was happy for me. he has lost 5 lbs in the last week or so i am so happy for him.

weigh in today is 190.8!!!

p2 d2

so ... here i am last night i wanted to cave in so fucking bad. but i didnt. i wanted cheese fries and i wanted take out food. i wanted the works. today seems ok so far since ive only been up for 45 min. ha ha ha. i took it first thing so i can wait the half hour before having my coffee. also i noticed that i usually dont care WHEN i take the hhcg. maybe that is the reason for being so fucking hungry all the time. well and it is day 2 so no hunger yet.
i am going to be more stern about taking it 1/2 hr before meals as directed.
i am  so excited to see what that scale says. i cant wait!!. yesterday it read 196.4
and today i noticed on my face it already looks slimmer. i have had to ppoopp like a ton this morning. even before the coffee i needed to take a crap. my tongue is not black any more. im wondering if i just accidentally sprinkled some makeup on my toothbrush or what.

any way, the second bottle of hcg came for cody. he is so pumped to lose weight. im so happy!!
i am happy because he wants to lose the weight and be healthy and be a good role model for his little girl. which i find sweet. so amber is going to do hcg as well but not til after easter. which i dont blame her. im hoping this stuff will already kick in full swing by the time easter is out and about.
so my weigh in was 196.4 and im going to go weigh in in a bit maybe after my coffee and i get moving around a bit. 196 sucks. but thats my after load weight. my pre load weight was 190.
ill have to say i am very proud of my self for not eating anything im not supposed to last night. i was really scared of myself. i pulled out some bean burger patties and i was going to make some tacos for myself. and i opened the box and i remember thinking " you went this whole day being good and your gonna fuck it up for some instant gratification?" then i remember "oh screw it just get back on track tomorrow" then thinking " you know if you say that, when will you ever get back on track??" and thats the thing, getting back on track takes forever!! thats like me taking one step forward but stepping back a year. because whenever i do atkins or something im usually doing pretty good for 2 days then jump off the band wagon and have to suffer with crazy ass cravings and say oh whatever i will get through it tomorrow. buckle down tomorrow. always putting shit off when its important. and i find that now as im writing this, that there are other things in my life that i do that with too! like paying my bills and finishing my class requirements. its bs. i need to stop it. wow. this clarity is great. im constantly learning. now this lesson is called, "leave instant gratification out of it"
how long can i go without something? i remember sitting on the couch last night after making the kids food and chugging my water saying to myself "c,mon its not the hardest thing you've ever had to endure!" then thinking "just go to bed so you dont have to worry about eating"
im obsessed with food. i know if i was living at my ex's still i would have wanted to gorge out of my mind on food. anything and everything.  then the guilt. i need to start asking myself if the guilt is worth it. because usually its not at all. i weighed it in my brain last night " a few seconds it takes for you to eat that, or another WHOLE day of torture? or another WHOLE day under your belt of things accomplished?  :)
its crazy how my brain is working now. i think im finally am starting to understand the benefits of holding off instant gratification. my weigh in today is 192.6 that is a 3.8 lb loss in one day. tomorrow im wondering what i will see. another 4 lbs loss? if so that would leave me at 188. that will be the lowest i have seen on HHCG.
its just going to add up now. its just going to be pound after pound after pound. this is fucking great!!
im so happy i didnt fuck it up.
tomorrow is what is keeping me from instant gratification. at this rate... im thinking of just losing 2 lbs per day i will be at 175 in about a week??? so thats saying by next friday i could lose 17 lbs.

p2 d1 hcg

I want to say thank you to my friend Amber who is so positive and always there for me. I'm Doing HCG again.
I am interested in how this will work out this time since im not under the amount of stress I was when I first tried HCG.
Today is the first day after my load days. It's 5 pm and I havent eaten my fruit yet and im having some tea. I was starting to get cravings of food while reading Low Carb Friends forum. ha ha ha. so i decided that i need to concentrate on other things rather than food. so i decided im going to paint. I need to get painting on a peacock for my friend. So I need to clean my room. put my laundry away and upload some pictures. i already made a play list for someone special.! i've been feeling a bit like on air right now. like it comes and goes. im just sitting here and im a bit tired so im drinking green tea and my stomach is gurrrrgling. i just feel light. i dont know how to describe it at all.besides im feeling light. im glad im doing this again.
its gonna suck because i have had my hours cut at work so i might be bored all the time at home. eh... im gonna get back on track with my hobbies again. poo.

lent...

so i decided to give up some things for lent. i decided i should probably give up cheese, eggs, dairy dressings, etc... and kind of do a vegan thing for 40 days. so today i had some salads. tomorrow for breakfast im gonna do broccoli and veggies galore!! this might be bad on me to do this. im not really looking forward to it. maybe i need to give up something else instead. my diet is already pretty strict. we'll see. maybe i should just give up cheese. i know i have an issue with food could you tell??
i got to see cody tonight. it was nice. i got into some trouble with my family about seeing him. i need to finish my classes and get into college. i need a new job that pays more. and pay for the marathon. yikes still havent done that.
then i need to think about changing my goal weight. i dont think i want to weigh 153. i think that might be too small for me. i dont want to look off. i weighed in today @ 194 i think. i have not been good the last couple of weeks. i have been eating crappy and this water weight is on. i can feel it. so new goal is to just get to 180 and then 170. thats it

holy crap

ran 6 miles today in 68 minutes.
i weighed in today at 187- i have not been drinking that much water lately.
last night the nightmares were kind of bad. i had 3 in a row. and an earth quake today.
any way tomorrow is my day off. of running thank goodness.