welp it happened

broke it off with dustin.
i get anxiety seeing that. i need to work on me.
so..... i got a bit of water weight i need to get off. i am 199 right now. and i was at 193. TOM is here and that didnt help either.
so i think tonight im going to try and run 4 miles. that is what my training regimen says to do. however its 16 weeks of training that im going to try and pull out to make it 2 months longer. so perhaps i will just try to run the 4 tonight and tomorrow would be a rest day. the next day after that looks like it could be a 5 mile day. it takes me 12 minutes to run a mile. i gotta cut that down to 9 minutes a mile then i can finish the marathon in 4 hours.
but its stamina and endurance. i have to keep the pace at 9 minute miles. so my running 4 miles / day is going to add up to 636 calories burned.

3720 and thats with work and eating breakfast and my bmr. breakfast was 3 eggs, coffee and salsa. im drinking some water right now.
breakfast was about 310 and i already subtracted that from the thing. im thinking tuna for dinner, and a salad for lunch.

tuesdays thurs and sats and suns are going to be long run days its averaging about 4-6 miles/wk its nearly 4 lbs per week i'd be losing
being at 199
with this water weight i bet i can see 193 after a while.
a week
my goal is to be in the 180's this month thats two weeks.
with my running and my atkins i can get there easy 199- 15 thats 184.
i have to go back sometime and get the rest of my stuff. im nervous about doing that because i really dont want to see him. i know what is going on. i know that he is seeing his ex again. i can put money on that.
i need to keep my head up. this sat i work 12-7 i dont know when i can come get my stuff from his place this week. i think next week would be better.




ok running. run run run run run run run run run run. i want to go hme and run. 4 miles will take me 50 minutes or so. i know i'll go home and ill be home around 8:30pm get some clothes on and go for my run. be done by like 9:15 and take a shower. i will be so fuggin tired
my anxiety kills me. it gets so fucking bad.i got it right now. i took one of my pills lipodrene for weight loss and energry. mainly energy. i was having a hard time finding motivation. this helps me get my ass in gear.
and gets me to work out hard core.
work is in a few
gotta keep positive