so now i am officially at 194!!! (insert balloons here...... yay...... and here) lol im so happy im at 194. i got to talking to a friend of mine and she was at 196 when she began to lose weight. now she is at 171. that is a 25 lb difference. I was skyping my friend dan and he noticed right away how i looked. i noticed too. my stomach is flatter my face is not fluffy and i look better. i want to get to my goal weight so bad. i've been hovering over that gd scale now for 2 years trying to get the rest off. im tired of trying to lose weight i just want to maintain now.
i got my thing in the mail and wow did it do a number on me. i like it a lot!!! i went grocery shopping today and i noticed i was buying food for 2 different people.
MINE DUSTIN
ice burg lettuce tortilla chips
baby green mixed lettuce cheetos
limes corn nuts
shrimp tortillas
cheeses Milk
salsa makings skinless chicken breast
(homemade and it was dank!!) bacon
spinach grapefruit juice no
eggs sugar added
Potato bread
muffins
gummie snacks
coke
gatorade
usually when he goes grocery shopping i never ask for my stuff which i have listed
i would feel bad. he will usually get tortillas cheap molases bread cheeses, chips, sodas, candies, juices (like hi c)
just plain crap
tonight for dinner i made shrimp tacos
i blended up lime juice, cilantro, garlic, salt, tomatoes, onions and cooked my shrimp in that.
then i laid the shrimp on top of my lettuce wrap and spinach with cheese. on top added extra home made salsa which was a different take of what i used to cook the shrimp in. it was so delicious!!!
the spinach really added a nice flare to things!!
i had so much energy today it was intense.
i cleaned the house, went for groceries, laundry, at the laundry matt too for dustins oiled clothes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned out the fridge, fixed the toilet, took a movie back,
and i was on a roll all day.
i have work tomorrow from 12-8pm which im nervous about since that whole shit with dustin went down and his ex showing up here without notice to me.
i gotta remember, i cannot control it. all i can control is myself.
im really happy i've lost nearly 20 lbs. 18 is just what i needed to boost me self.
so im at 194 my next goal is 190
heaviest
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
oh wow!!
2 days of fasting and i got knocked into ketosis like a bat out of hell. i have lost 12 lbs. and counting. and i am leaking out ketones like a bad mama jama!!
went from 211 to 199 in about a week. stress and anxiety is causing me not to eat but i figure since i got into ketosis maybe i can just stay on atkins while im at it. the thing i need to remember is that i need to count calories even though im doing atkins. another thing that is bothering me is that dustins ex lost a lot of weight and dustins mom has been noted to say that dustin doesn't need a fat gf. that he deserves a skinny one. so im going into crisis mode right now. i can feel my face burning. i had a head ache yesterday and that was about it. jesus its so much easier to get into ketosis this way rather than by eating. i didn't feel any symptoms and by morning day 3 im already in ketosis. any way wish me luck ya'll
went from 211 to 199 in about a week. stress and anxiety is causing me not to eat but i figure since i got into ketosis maybe i can just stay on atkins while im at it. the thing i need to remember is that i need to count calories even though im doing atkins. another thing that is bothering me is that dustins ex lost a lot of weight and dustins mom has been noted to say that dustin doesn't need a fat gf. that he deserves a skinny one. so im going into crisis mode right now. i can feel my face burning. i had a head ache yesterday and that was about it. jesus its so much easier to get into ketosis this way rather than by eating. i didn't feel any symptoms and by morning day 3 im already in ketosis. any way wish me luck ya'll
Sunday, January 9, 2011
ahhhhh!! yeah!! -9 lbs
so i am at 204 today. thank the gods. My car is getting fixed today and will probably be able to run by tomorrow. I have to get the bitch registered and that will be costly. im going to just do something small for dustin's christmas pressent. I got home yesterday and found his ex here. well while i was walking through the door found him dressed up and very close to her. i dont know what happend i dont want to speculate but i bet they kissed. its been bothering me for a while now. i do not like her. and i am going to use that as my fuel along with everything else thats been bothering me, to run. and lose weight. it makes me nauseated at the fact that he could be cheating on me. plus i found on his phone that he changed his picture to something else rather than me on the background.
LESSON #1 :
its about me now.
LESSON #2:
i cannot control anyone but myself. if he cheats then its his fault not mine.
LESSON #3:
I will not hurt myself over this garbage. I was tempted to cut again. i did on my leg, but i sat in the shower and agreed to myself that i am not worth being hurt. i am worth much more than that!
that goes along with stuffing my emotional pie hole with food. If i eat because im emotional i am hurting myself.
LESSON #4:
I dont want to get married. It's decided. there is too much room for disappointment. I dont want to be let down any more and i let myself down and others have let me down.
LESSON #5:
I am a strong woman. I CAN do anything I want.
LESSON #6:
Times may be hard but that should only make me stronger. I should only look at things that happen in my life good or bad as opportunities to grow.
LESSON #7:
NO ONE WILL HOLD ME BACK!
LESSON #8:
I am in my prime and deserve to have a good time.
LESSON #9:
I need to make ME happy.
that is all my rant.
LESSON #1 :
its about me now.
LESSON #2:
i cannot control anyone but myself. if he cheats then its his fault not mine.
LESSON #3:
I will not hurt myself over this garbage. I was tempted to cut again. i did on my leg, but i sat in the shower and agreed to myself that i am not worth being hurt. i am worth much more than that!
that goes along with stuffing my emotional pie hole with food. If i eat because im emotional i am hurting myself.
LESSON #4:
I dont want to get married. It's decided. there is too much room for disappointment. I dont want to be let down any more and i let myself down and others have let me down.
LESSON #5:
I am a strong woman. I CAN do anything I want.
LESSON #6:
Times may be hard but that should only make me stronger. I should only look at things that happen in my life good or bad as opportunities to grow.
LESSON #7:
NO ONE WILL HOLD ME BACK!
LESSON #8:
I am in my prime and deserve to have a good time.
LESSON #9:
I need to make ME happy.
that is all my rant.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
bloggin wtf
ok so i am fully aware now that i have all these posts that are saying ok today is the day, fresh start, new year, new week, next week blah blah blah. Where on earth did my motivation go??
I think its because I was depressed.
- Thursday
Sign up for marathon and pay registration
Ok so i've signed up for the marathon before but did not pay for it. Last year blew asshole because so much was going on. Moving, dad's ms, lying fiance, grandma's death. it was seriously one thing after another. it was so hard for me.
the marathon is in june. june 11th to be exact. im looking forwarf to this. 18 weeks of training. car will be fixed soon im thinking like 2 more weeks at the latest. i need to stop smoking!!
then my shit still has not made it through the mail yet. which blows. my goal today is to drink 2 litters of water. and to cut my cigaretts to only 2 today. oh man i just guzzled some water i was so thirsty.
best thing about my job is i can have atkins approved salads yay!!
i haven't been eating a whole lot but one problem i have been having is i have been drinking a lot more.
so i cant wait for my stuff to come through the mail. this will really jump start my diet.i just really needed an appitite suppressant
im going back on atkins
i need to cut way back on cheeses and oil
but other than that i will be really good!
1200 calories a day. i got to lose as much weight as i can before my marathon so i can run it well
im hoping i can lose 8 lbs per month in 5 months thats 40 lbs. which is very healthy
- Make grocery list
go shopping on friday 1/13
I havent really gone grocery shopping because dustin has been paying for the groceries and i don't want him to be buying my stuff. thats not really fair.
so i will be making a grocery list for myself
and one for him LOL
-Start Running
gotta get my own car
So hopefully my car will be ready in about 2 weeks
so when i get my car i will start working out more aggressively. I need to see when my membership at my gym expires and when that does im just going to try to renew or find somewhere cheaper.
i need to really keep up on my running schedule.
its running 15-20 miles per week
I think its because I was depressed.
- Thursday
Sign up for marathon and pay registration
Ok so i've signed up for the marathon before but did not pay for it. Last year blew asshole because so much was going on. Moving, dad's ms, lying fiance, grandma's death. it was seriously one thing after another. it was so hard for me.
the marathon is in june. june 11th to be exact. im looking forwarf to this. 18 weeks of training. car will be fixed soon im thinking like 2 more weeks at the latest. i need to stop smoking!!
then my shit still has not made it through the mail yet. which blows. my goal today is to drink 2 litters of water. and to cut my cigaretts to only 2 today. oh man i just guzzled some water i was so thirsty.
best thing about my job is i can have atkins approved salads yay!!
i haven't been eating a whole lot but one problem i have been having is i have been drinking a lot more.
so i cant wait for my stuff to come through the mail. this will really jump start my diet.i just really needed an appitite suppressant
im going back on atkins
i need to cut way back on cheeses and oil
but other than that i will be really good!
1200 calories a day. i got to lose as much weight as i can before my marathon so i can run it well
im hoping i can lose 8 lbs per month in 5 months thats 40 lbs. which is very healthy
- Make grocery list
go shopping on friday 1/13
I havent really gone grocery shopping because dustin has been paying for the groceries and i don't want him to be buying my stuff. thats not really fair.
so i will be making a grocery list for myself
and one for him LOL
-Start Running
gotta get my own car
So hopefully my car will be ready in about 2 weeks
so when i get my car i will start working out more aggressively. I need to see when my membership at my gym expires and when that does im just going to try to renew or find somewhere cheaper.
i need to really keep up on my running schedule.
its running 15-20 miles per week
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
ok...
goal today is to drink 8 glasses of water. and just document what i eat
i lost a pound 201.6 today :)
i lost a pound 201.6 today :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
new start. how many is this now?!?!
ok i know i have been ranting about getting back on the wagon. feeling good. jumping off the wagon. nice huh.
so i decided i need to not be consumed by food any more or depression.
i need to indulge in my hobbies. writing is by far one of my greatest hobbies. so now im listening to flogging molly and i am going to change my life. im going to be the woman i want to become. a nurse, a great friend, a great girlfriend, a great sister, a great person, and a great soul. i want to enjoy life and instead of dwelling on past i will be here in the present. i've been making my coffee way too strong in the mornings!
its been setting me up for fucked up anxiety attacks.
any way for breakfast i think ill make some eggs. im starting a new blog on stupid shit from info mercials!! :)
any way i will have a great day.
i didn't weigh in yet but i've been around 203-201 so i will weigh in on next tuesday. only once a week. then i will start running next week. i want to have lost 1 pound. that is my goal :) ciao
so i decided i need to not be consumed by food any more or depression.
i need to indulge in my hobbies. writing is by far one of my greatest hobbies. so now im listening to flogging molly and i am going to change my life. im going to be the woman i want to become. a nurse, a great friend, a great girlfriend, a great sister, a great person, and a great soul. i want to enjoy life and instead of dwelling on past i will be here in the present. i've been making my coffee way too strong in the mornings!
its been setting me up for fucked up anxiety attacks.
any way for breakfast i think ill make some eggs. im starting a new blog on stupid shit from info mercials!! :)
any way i will have a great day.
i didn't weigh in yet but i've been around 203-201 so i will weigh in on next tuesday. only once a week. then i will start running next week. i want to have lost 1 pound. that is my goal :) ciao
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