crap.

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so, well, last night was kind of fucky. my car is pulling some bullshit with the transmission.
god i had a dream i was a nurse last night. i was doing some plasma aphresis and this other nurse was talking to me about the percentage of white blood cells to the dead ones and we need to make sure that lukemia doesnt get trapped with the patient.
it was crazy, i loved it i woke up and was a little bumed that i was not waking up to being a nurse that day.
last night nick and dustin got into a huge fight. i really wish it had escalated so that dustin would kick nick out. but at one point dustin told nick to pack his shit and get the fuck out.
nick was instigating so much. telling dustin he needs to get a job and that nick is the only one who feeds the dog. and that nick takes better care of chance than dustin does.
nicks a piece of shit and i really saw this happen yesterday when i was seeing dustins cards i really dont see nick around so i will not worry :) i dont give a fuck where he goes he's not welocmed here.
not sure about weight loss today im a bit nervous to jump on that scale since yesterday i was craving snacks soooo bad. i dont have much time to type on here i need to make breakfast and finish getting ready for school.
it was very stressful yesterday but dustin was good to me and really cheered me up!
i didnt sleep too well last night i was so fucking hot. it was norm temp though is what dustin said
but i was burning up so high.
ok, breakfast, make up, school books alright ttyl

grrr 195. so what i wrote before on the 15th and 16th i was 190 well, maybe i just need to take a page out of other peoples books and just  weigh myself 1 time per month or week but shit im obsessed with the scale!! today will be a low sodium day then.
i like to do this, lots of water veggies and no or little fake meat :) protien! woo! do it to it!!
i hope i dont get discouraged soon
9/19
nick is drunk and its 0610 in the morning he can barley stand up straight and walk down stairs.
my internet connection is poor right now and i hate that.

lately its been really nice between dustin and i. its been really getting good. were so much more playful than usual latley. monday i have work and i think im off tuesday. ok im not off tuesday. i actually have to go in from 7-8 to dress this woman and get her ready for bed.
i want to go running but i have been kind of smoking on and off here and there.
i am seeing trouble on the scale. up a few pounds but i know that is from water weight.
i wish i could do some research about sodium and too much of it. i had quite a bit of potassium yesterday. i hope i get on that scale and see a nice number i cant wait until im below 190.
when i see 180 i will be so happy. i already feel really good about myself and i have encouraged others. like my new friend natalie. she is 5'8 and weighed in at 256. she is 60 lbs heavier than i.
now that i think about it i think there may be a link between water weight and green tea.
because when i stop drinking it water weight seems to get worse