I hope i did that right up there in the heading.
anyway, i started HCG just a few days ago. Yesterday I felt kind of like everything was really good.
I ate:
1 small apple
4 eggs. 3 whites - 1 whole
strawberries
cucumber
broccoli
shrimp (with dry mustard, garlic salt, pepper)
2 melba toasts
while last night i went to bed hungry, i really wanted to eat. i was having cravings. i wanted to just say oh maybe this could be day three of loading. no, i stuck to it.
i have not weighed myself but i did record my inches, arm, waist and hips and weight.
i hate it but i got up to 199 from loading. that is so discouraging. makes me feel like i will never see the likes of 180 ever!
i dont know why they dont recomend you eating breakfast. its the most important meal of the day!!
i would eat eggs in the AM with a tomato. for breakfast. then eat the melba toast with my fruit for lunch and dinner eat my other protein with my veggie. see. thats how i'd do it.
any way. i want to hope i can go and run after this. i dont want to be out of shape by the time i am allowed to actually go out and do some activities.
i did notice one thing. my ring does not fit my ring finger any more it got too big. which does not make sense to me because i reached on the scale at 199. then i tried putting it on my middle finger and it was slipping off that too. and i ate salt. i think this dr simeon knew a thing or two about protein difficiancy.
well i drank my coffee im going to the rest room brb......................... ok 196.3 today YAY!!!!
a little bit better i feel-----
cassy drew me this picture one time on an IM
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)
HA HA HA AHHAHAH
today i feel good. i feel like how i felt when i was on atkins.
i was doing a little math and it seems as though if i would lose all my weight i would have to lose 43 lbs.
however i can only lose 38 on a single round. so by losing 38 lbs i will be at 158. suggesting that 38 lbs would leave me at 38 days (since 1 pound per day) that would be around 1.2 months or so.
so if i am good and i continue to do this and its working for me, i could be 190 at the end of next week. AND by the end of next month i would be 160. wow. by halloween i will be making all the girls' who are jealous of me right now (can name one person)
she is kind of making me mad right now. im with her best friend in the whole world and she is making me feel bad. she doesnt look at me the same any more. she is struggling with her weight. and if she saw me at 160 she would flip out and kill over with jealousy. and so would all my other friends. if i got to 160 that would be a weight loss of 120 lbs!! when i hit 153 that would be amazing. but as far as im concerned wouldnt i have to OOHHHH!!! (bright light above head just turned on!!)
that is why my friend said she had to gain? would i have to gain some pounds in order to do another round? that kind of sounds unhealthy.
eh.... ill ask her. when i was 180 i was wearing a size 14 and that was the smallest i had ever been. im lucky and happy i only got up to an average of 196. i peaked at 207 and was like what the fuck am i doing!!!! GET BACK ON TRACK YOU FAT BITCH!!! ha ha h ahahahahhhaha not really but i knew i was fucking up. and i had to change it. this is lame but i have not gotten paid yet, and i have to drive to draper in my boyfriends gas guzzler truck and i only have seven bucks to my name and i get paid tomorrow. stupid. my fuel injector went out so now i get to battle menlove about why they didnt take care of the car and i have to do these repairs that is tedious and i shouldnt have to do them. i am paying 7 grand more than what the car is worth. but i needed a car. dustin makes sure i know THAT HE WAS FUCKING RIGHT. god, i dont care you know if i have to say that someone is right and i was wrong ill fucking say it.
but if someone sits there and is like "i told you so" i wanna bitch slap them like the first day they were born!!!
some fucking people. i feel like sometimes im the only one on the planet that doesnt say i told you so. DONT YOU THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW!!!
well im glad i got to 196. im miffed though because on atkins i got to 190. and i was already kind of getting ready for what october would bring me as far as atkins went. but i like this protocol (ha ha ha thanks amber!!)
because its reseting my hypothalamus. and i would not over eat ever again. i wont desire food like i would desire a drug. and that is what my point was on atkins.
you know i would love it if i got to 160 and was like holy shit!! im going to stop there because i look great ha ha ha . i just want to be done trying to lose. i want to finally start just maintaining.
i told dustin i wish i could just do crash dieting, ha ha ha but i know its not healthy. and i would gain it all back.
his mom did shit like that. she's nuts. i dont agree with crash diets any more. i used to be all for them but since i started losing weight the right way since last year im over that
i just wrote this to my friend but i think its important!!
dustin was watching me eat on atkins and saying that i wasnt eating normal. then when we went to cafe rio for my load day he said i was finally eating normal but i ate so much i wanted to throw up!!! i only had a bean and rice and cheese burrito. he porks out all the time he's fit. but he said that i wasnt being healthy. and when i would get a off feeling (because i had a seizure last wed. and that is a typical feeling) he said "would you please eat something!?! i worry about you. WHAT THE FUCK!!! your ass wont be complaining when im wearing A FUCKING SIZE 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he wouldnt care if i was skinny lol. he'd be like oh, shit , she was right. then i would force him to tell me i was right. bitch.
god i cant wait til this weight is off. every one is going to flip out. even me. i want to look back on my pictures and say i will never be like that again. this is a new sarah.
i've broken the pattern i had with binge eating. i've gotten my support. my best friend amber has given me that.
she is an amazing inspiration to me. i know she will read that ;)
lol
now im holding the hcg under my tongue for more than 15 sec. since she suggested i do that so i can get my jew money's worth.
well i am going to close that with an "im excited to see what the fucking scale brings tomorrow!"
cant fucking wait to see 189 soon.
i want to be healthy and rid of this extra weight. i already have a new outlook on life and learned a bunch of lessons. however the one i need to learn now is the confidence one. i want to be confident. and say to myself he didnt check her out because your hotter than she is HA HA HA HAHA
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