last night was not a good night. i had seizures. i kept passing out and dustin was freaking out so much. i kept waking out of it and seeing him cry and he was like baby baby please wake up i could hear him.
we were watching stone sour and they had far too many blinking lights so i thought i could handle it if i dont look at them. then i felt a pretty bad headache coming on so i ran off and dustin went to get me some water. well, i sat on the grass and my body felt like it was trying to clinch together. my jaw got tight my sight was blurry and dustin didnt know what to do and i just told him dont let me go to sleep and dont lie me down and just keep talking to me so i know im ok. then i started feeling odd, i cant remember a whole lot after that and i all of a sudden saw this woman i couldnt really hear what she was saying and i just wanted to go to the truck. i should have gone to the ER i dont know why i didnt, i remember getting up this hill and dusting was crying and i didnt know what was happening i was so scared and i started crying then i felt like i was fine. then i would drop to my knees and start shaking again. i was so scared and so was dustin.
he was sooo kind to me. it makes me want to cry right now!
he was talking to me telling me how beautiful i am and if i make it tonight he would make me breakfast and take care of me.
i was on the ground and he was trying to pick me up i kept passing out over and over again.
he was holding me and asking talk to me baby what do you want in life huh? and i said i want to be skinny, and i want to be a nurse and i want to be your wife.
it was a fucked up night. i kept passing out in the truck and he was driving i remember him saying (barley remember ) oh god please dont make me do cpr on you oh god just make it though!! he kept smacking my face and trying to get me to wake up.
i could hear him for a sec and then i blacked out again and this kept happening until we got home and he got me an ice pack for my body.
my body was over heating and i put my feet up.
that must have been one of the scariest times i have ever been through.
ive had them before but never this bad.
never to the point that i would stop breathing.
i am changing the subject, i needed to get that out there and i didnt want to keep it in.
on a better note i am 190.3 right now.
i drank my coffee and im going to be taking my bee pollen, ginko, and my b12
and drink some green tea too.
im not really hungry i just know i need to eat my head is starting to hurt again.
i was hyper ventelating so bad my body was tingly all over my face and hands
ahhh- im greatful for my weight loss. -17 lbs since august 27th.
that means by sept 27th i will be around 180!! and that is -27 lbs!!
that is so great!! i am doing wonderfully!!
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